I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize