I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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