Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
