just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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