I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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