On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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