THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
