I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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