Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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