he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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