you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You brought string cheese to the strip club
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
