quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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