That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
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You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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