yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
