This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
