well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm at about main and main street
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
