So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize