i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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