Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
