Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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