I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
