I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
