So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
