how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
This is classic penis vs brain.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
