forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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