Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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