he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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