If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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