make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
