Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
