Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
