remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
