Nicole vs. Life
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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