you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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