C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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