i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
