So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
