I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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