WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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