dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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