she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
