so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
