So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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