he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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