If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
