They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
