This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
