A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize