i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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