Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
