The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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