Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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