Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
