There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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