marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
