kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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