Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
