Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
