i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
