Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
