I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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