I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
