Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize