He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
